Going Around in Circles
by Crystal Clarity
Summary: Sesshoumaru's mother, Saeko, turns up and causes chaos amongst the Inuyasha-tachi... S/K and other odd pairings p.q


**Going Around in Circles**  
  
Part 1  
  
By: Crystal Clarity  
  
Warnings: Oh brother... if I listed them all, we'd be here all day. This fic breaks about a thousand rules of normalcy.... Lime, cursing, violence, AU  
  
~~~}@{~~~  
  
"Is she dead?"  
  
"No! Idiot, use your nose!" Inuyasha growled, smacking the little kitsune upside the head. "You're a demon, so act like it!"  
  
Shippo squealed and ducked out of the way of the hanyou's hand as Inuyasha swung at him at again. "I couldn't tell! Your horrible stench is blocking out hers!"  
  
"You little--!"  
  
"Sit!"  
  
*SPLAT!!*  
  
"$*%&@!!!"  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes at the pair and turned back to the female lying unconscious at the base of a large sakura tree. "She doesn't look hurt... maybe she hit her head?"  
  
Miroku shook his head. "No, it looks more like she was put here. And besides," he added, lightly probing the girl's skull, "there is no bump. Any hit that would knock a youkai unconscious would leave a bump."  
  
Sango's eye twitched slightly as the monk's head began to creep steadily toward the youkai's breasts. "HENTAI! At least have the decency to wait until she's CONSCIOUS and can DEFEND herself!!"  
  
*CRAAAACK!*  
  
Miroku twitched from his newfound position on the forest floor.  
  
"Moron." Inuyasha muttered, rolling his eyes.  
  
"If I am not mistaken, Inuyasha, you were just sent crashing to the ground because of your own stupidity." Miroku grumbled, pushing himself up into a sitting position and spitting out a mouthful of dirt. It was sad, really. He was actually starting to get used to the taste of the soil... But he'd be the first to say that worms would taste MUCH better cooked and smothered in every spice known to man.  
  
Inuyasha bristled. "Screw you!"  
  
Miroku flashed him a lewd grin. "Were circumstances --and your gender-- different, I would gladly take you up on your offer."  
  
The hanyou stared at him. "You are such a sick fuck! What the hell is the matter with you, anyway?! Were you dropped on your head as a child?!"  
  
"Why, as a matter of fact..."  
  
Kagome sighed and glanced over at Sango, who was looking as if she wanted to bash the perverted excuse for a monk again. "Guys, would you stop? We have to help her! Inuyasha, can you tell if anything is wrong with her?"  
  
Inuyasha huffed, but obediently turned back to the task at hand. "She's not dead. Isn't that enough? Leave 'er there, Kagome. If she wakes up, she's likely to kill the first thing she sees out of confusion. Or even if she doesn't do that, she'll probably kill you anyway just for the hell of it."  
  
The girl from the future pinched the bridge of her nose. She would have to remember to take an advil after this was over... "I don't care. Can you smell anything or not?"  
  
"Feh." The hanyou grumbled something rather impolite under his breath, and leaned closer to scent the woman. He froze for a few moments, then slowly pulled away and just... stared.  
  
Make that *two* advil. "Well..?"  
  
"She... smells like Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha mumbled, blinking rapidly.  
  
Shippo tilted his to one side and leaned forward to sniff at the youkai's arm. He recoiled in shock. "She does! Does... does that mean that she's his mate or something..?"  
  
Inuyasha shook his head slowly. "No... If she were his mate, she'd smell like the bastard but she would also have her own scent. She *smells like Sesshoumaru*."  
  
Maybe a whole bottle of advil... Yes, that would definitely get rid of the monstrous migraine she felt coming on... "So... what does that mean? She *is* Sesshoumaru?" Kagome blinked and examined the youkai. Silver hair, a dark blue crescent moon on her forehead, twin magenta stripes on either cheek, a heart-shaped face and a delicate nose, and full, pouty lips. Actually, come to think of it, she didn't look terribly different from Sesshoumaru. The only real differences were the feminine nose and mouth, and the very obvious mounds hidden beneath her snowy white kimono. "She looks like him..."  
  
"I'll say." Sango agreed, crossing her arms. "In fact, I really don't see much difference... aside from the obvious." There was a brief pause, then, "Houshi-sama, if you say a WORD, I swear I will kick your butt from here to Kaede's village and back."  
  
Miroku smiled innocently. "Why, Lady Sango, I was merely wondering why such an *obviously* female youkai resembled Sesshoumaru-sama so closely!"  
  
"Yeah, I'll bet."  
  
"Would you two knock it off?!" Inuyasha growled, sending a glare in their direction.  
  
A groan echoed loudly around the small clearing, and all of them froze.  
  
"Little brother... If Jaken-baka is chasing you again, it is your fault... don't ask *me* to help..." the youkai mumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.  
  
Inuyasha twitched slightly. "*Sesshoumaru*..!"  
  
The girl suddenly jerked awake, blinking her large, golden eyes at them in surprise. "What are you doing here, hanyou?" she demanded, stumbling to her feet and glaring... up at him? Wait a second! She paled and looked down at her chest... only to be confronted by a relatively *large* (at least in her mind) set of breasts. And so, she did what was natural for a demon lord who had recently been turned into a demon *lady*. She screamed. "What in all the hells?! Half-breed, what the fuck did you DO to me?!"  
  
"Hey! I didn't do nothing to you!" the hanyou cried, jumping between Kagome and his half-bro-- er, half-sister. "We found you like this, dipwad!"  
  
There was a brief pause, then Sesshoumaru's eye began to twitch violently. "Mother!"  
  
Everyone blinked. Twice.  
  
"Uh... I know this a totally new experience for you and all, but -- and tell me if I'm wrong!-- this doesn't seem like the kind of situation you'd call your mother for." Kagome said, stepping out from behind her hanyou companion. Actually, now that she could see Sesshoumaru properly, she didn't look quite so much like her male form. No, she was even MORE beautiful now.  
  
Sesshoumaru ignored her, unconsciously deeming a response to her inane observation a waste of her time. "Mother did this. Damn her and her fucking 'punishments'..!" she snarled, turning on her heel and stalking off in the general direction of the Western lands.  
  
The others could only stare after her, all scratching their heads in confusion.  
  
Inuyasha blinked for a moment, then began to cackle madly. "So! Another of Saeko-mama's magical punshiments, eh? Ooh, did she pick a doozy THIS time! Wonder what Aniki did..."  
  
Kagome blinked. "Saeko-mama..? Inuyasha, you have a stepmother?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.  
  
The hanyou shrugged, forcing back his mirth at his brother's situation. "Sort of. She's Sesshoumaru's mother. She's as good a demon as they come, but she's also the craziest bitch you'll ever meet!" He smirked and cackled again.  
  
The leaves of the tree above them rustled loudly. "Inuyasha..."  
  
He froze, eyes wide. "Oh, *shit*. Uh... S-Saeko-mama..?"  
  
Sango, Miroku, and Kagome all glanced at each other worriedly. If she had turned her own son into a woman... Just what would she do to Inuyasha, who was only her stepson?  
  
Shippo dove for cover behind Kagome.  
  
The leaves rustled again, and a slender form clad in pale lavender kimono dropped from the tree above them, silver hair flying out behind her. The woman stood before them, eyeing Inuyasha with something between amusement and hurt in her eyes.  
  
For a moment, Miroku thought that it was actually Sesshoumaru who stood before them. This woman looked exactly like her son... er... daughter, excepting only the color of her markings and slight stature. Her cheek markings were light purple, and the crescent moon on her forehead a very deep gold. Her eyes were slanted and more feminine than her son's, but they were the same amber shade, and her ears were just a little pointier. She was very delicate looking, though, in contrast to the demon lord, and she was only a little shorter than Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha gulped audibly. "Saeko-mama... uh... I... um... Long time no see?" he stammered, taking a step back. He held little doubt in his mind that she was going to "punish" him the same way she had punished Sesshoumaru, and he would be damned if he didn't try his hardest to change her mind!  
  
Saeko regarded him coolly for a moment, then her eyes flicked over the small group of humans (plus one cowering kitsune). "Who are your friends?" she asked in a soft, soprano voice.  
  
"Er..."  
  
Kagome rolled her eyes and stepped forward, smiling tentatively. "I'm Kagome. It's nice to meet you, Saeko-sama. This is Miroku, and the girl beside him is Sango." She felt a light tug on her skirt. "And the kitsune is Shippo."  
  
Saeko smiled. "It's nice to meet you, too. I am," her eyes moved to Inuyasha, "the 'craziest bitch you'll ever meet'. I assume that you have all seen my... son... judging by your previous conversation. I assure you, his current state is only temporary. There is a goal I have set for him to achieve, and once he has, he will return to his usual grumpy, unemotional self. Honestly, you would think he'd have turned out better..." She tsked softly. Lifting a hand, she casually placed it on her stepson's shoulder and it began to glow with power.  
  
It was all over in just a few seconds, but to Inuyasha and the others, it felt like hours. The hanyou literally shrank until he was just a centimeter taller than Kagome, and his waist seemed to almost collapse in on itself. Miroku, of course, found the sudden expansion of his friend's chest to be most fascinating, while Kagome watched with something akin to horrified wonder as his face suddenly began to appear more and more feminine.  
  
The moment Saeko lifted her hand from Inuyasha's shoulder, he looked down at himself and shrieked in a very high soprano tone.  
  
Shippo whimpered and covered his poor, abused ears, while the three humans just winced in sympathy. Under the circumstances, such a blood- curdling scream was understandable, after all.  
  
Inuyasha looked up at his stepmother, amber eyes wide. "You... you shrank my favorite outfit!"  
  
Everyone facefaulted.  
  
Saeko shook her head sadly. "Inuyasha... you never were terribly bright. Anyway. You will remain female until you have accomplished a goal, similar to Sesshoumaru's, blah blah blah. Sorry, but you'll just have to figure out what it is on your own... Yeah. The usual warnings and such, y'know?"  
  
"Er... What..?" The hanyou turned a sickly green, and glanced down at her chest. Note *her* chest. ~Oh... my... GOD!~ "AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
Kagome slapped a hand over her face as the female hanyou ripped open the front of her haori and poked tentatively at one of her breasts, her golden eyes wide. "Inuyasha... you... hentai! SIT!"  
  
*SPLAT!*  
  
"Itai..." Inuyasha grumbled, eyes swirling.  
  
Saeko's golden eyes narrowed slightly at the human girl's 'abuse' of her stepson. ~How dare she put such a spell on him?!~ Her hands began to glow with a dim green light not unlike that of Sesshoumaru's dokkasou. ~Well... let's see how she likes being subject to youkai-binding spells!~  
  
Sango noticed this immediately and her eyes widened. "U-uh... Kagome... That probably wasn't the best thing for you to do in front of Saeko-sama..." she whispered, ducking behind Miroku. If someone was gonna get zapped, it might as well be him, after all. Repeated beatings with a certain bone boomerang hadn't left any permanent scars, so why should anything that the (crazy) youkai did hurt him?  
  
Kagome blinked at her. "What?" ~Wow... my voice sounds a little strange today... Maybe I'm getting a cold?~  
  
Inuyasha sat up slowly, picking bits of grass and dirt from between her teeth, and eyed Kagome. She sighed and shook her head. "Idiot. Female inu-youkai have very strong maternal instincts. She thought you were hurting her 'pup', and... er.... 'attacked' accordingly."  
  
~'Attacked'..?~ Kagome lifted a hand to her chest, and promptly turned green. "Oh... my God..." Trembling, she pulled the collar of her shirt out a little and peered down the front. "ARGH! I'm... I'm a..!"  
  
Shippo squealed and leapt up onto his shoulder, taking the opportunity to check for himself. "Kagome!" He turned to Saeko, looking extremely agitated. "Turn her back, you big bully! She didn't do nothin' to you!" he protested, digging his claws into the older boy's shoulder.  
  
Saeko just smiled cheerfully back at him. "Nope, sorry. You heard the rules!" She played with a lock of her silvery white hair and raised an eyebrow at the group. ~She shouldn't have threatened my pup. Maybe this will teach her some manners!~ "Check again, Kagome. You are not just any male... you're an inu-youkai! Isn't that wonderful?" she said enthusiastically, winking at the boy in a manner that brought a blush to his face.  
  
Kagome, having overcome the initial shock, looked down at his hands. ~Dark green stripes... great. Does she know how hard this is going to make it to choose clothes that don't clash?~ It was then that he realized that he was still wearing his school uniform. Said uniform, which had fit him perfectly just moments ago, was now far, far too small. "Oh, great. Inuyasha, c'mere for a sec!" he commanded, grabbing the hanyou's arm and dragging her behind a clump of bushes.  
  
Ten minutes, several strings of curses and three arguments later, they emerged again, having switched clothes... Which, Sango suspected, was entirely Kagome's idea.  
  
Miroku stared at Inuyasha, openly admiring his traveling companion's very... *curvy* figure. Inuyasha turned a here-to-fore unknown shade of red and glared at the hentai houshi.  
  
"Hands off, bouzu! You lay a damned finger on me, and I'll remove it for you!"  
  
Sigh. "Of course, Inuyasha. I wouldn't dream of it."  
  
The hanyou snarled at him. "Yeah, I'll bet!"  
  
Kagome, meanwhile, was fidgeting with the sleeves of Inuyasha's haori. ~This sucks! What am I supposed to do now..? I can't go home like this, Mom and Grandpa would freak! *sigh* I guess on the bright side, I won't have to deal with 'that time of the month' for a long time...~ She smiled a little at that, and raised a hand to inspect her claws. !The youkai thing I can deal with, at least. Maybe now I won't feel so useless during a battle.!  
  
Inuyasha tugged angrily on them of Kagome's green skirt, trying to force it down. She had never felt so... so... *naked* in her entire life! This clothing of hers was horrible! Not to mention the weird looks Miroku kept sending her way... ~Damned pervert.~  
  
Sango, for one, was immensely happy that she had not been subjected to the Lady of the Western Lands' weird gender bending fetish. She was also trying not to admire her bestfriend's very attractive male body. Somehow it just seemed inappropriate to look at Kagome that way.  
  
Shippo was looking very distressed indeed, and finally opted to sit with Kirara off to the side, watching helplessly as his friends tried to figure out just what was going on.  
  
The adults were so absorbed in their new predicament, they almost missed Sesshoumaru's return.  
  
"*Mother*!"  
  
Saeko turned to find her 'son' glaring at her as she stalked back into the clearing, murderous intent plain on her face. "Why hello Sesshoumaru dear. So good of you to join us!" she said lightly, her lips curving up in a smirk at the younger youkai's problem.  
  
Sesshoumaru ignored her greeting. "I demand that you reverse this... this..."  
  
"Spell?" Saeko offered helpfully.  
  
The demon 'lord' glared at her. "This *travesty*! I am the Lord of the Western Lands, not a toy for your amusement!"  
  
Inuyasha would have laughed, had she not been in the same mess as her... sister. As it was, she couldn't help but chuckle a little, which naturally drew the older youkai's gaze to her.  
  
"....Inuyasha. What a... becoming... kimono." Sesshoumaru said, arching an eyebrow at her. "I see you were foolish enough to anger Mother, even after observing for yourself her new favorite spell."  
  
Then hanyou turned red. "Oh, shut up! You're just as stupid, y'know! You've been around her longer'n me, and you *still* pissed her off, knowing what kinda 'punishments' she likes to give out!" she growled, kicking a small pebble in the older woman's general direction.  
  
Kagome sighed. This was going to be a loooong day...  
  
~~~}@{~~~  
  
AN: ..... Feel free to flame me o_o; that was nuts. I swear, I need something to do in my spare time.... 


End file.
